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Separation | An Unmarried Woman

Separation

1.13.2010

I think it possible every person in a relationship has at some time thought, “What if?”

All our friends’ marriages are on the rocks, are we “special” or next?
No one knows me better but do we still relate?
Would being alone be better?
In the hope of finding love again, do I risk being alone at my age?
Can I make it alone?
Am I expecting too much, when look at what I’ve got?

Some of us part ways. Others stay married.
But do we ever stop asking, “What if?”

I am sitting in the Denver Airport waiting for a Southwest flight. I am going home to “my” apartment in Portland. For the first time Joel won’t be there to greet me, to hug me after our two wildly enthusiastic Whippets, Leo and Bliss, predictably respond to my return with a wild dance involving eight slender limbs propelling them in all directions simultaneously. Leo will bark and nibble on Bliss ears, determined to get all the attention for himself. But tonight, in five hours, my best friend won’t be standing behind the Whippets grinning at the spectacle as he has every month I’ve returned to Portland from business trips to Tulsa.

Tonight, without an official document, circumstances and situations within and beyond my control have brought me to tonight when I become an unmarried woman.

Have you pondered separation? If you’ve done it, what was your experience?

I wonder, do separations result more often in reconciliations or endings?

As always, Trix