I was emailing a mutual contact of ours about you, I told here that I lusted after you, and she suggested that I keep that up as you deserve the attention, and I agree.

However I had a chance to think about this, and then I read this blog post where your close Male friend states, “…“I ask but I don’t know the answer. They die on me.” John said. “But I have seen couples handle it lots of ways. Some make a firm rule: no contact for six months” “I’ve not really seen your approach before…”

Of course once we met it became quite obious to us both that while we enjoyed each others company and will most likely become quite good friends, it was obvious that you I operate at different frequency of Female / Male relationships.

Like a hungry yard dog, I like to roll about in a Woman, munching, licking, roughing her, and devouring her to the point where she owns me, and I have her scent all over me, and THEN we may, or may not form a long bond relationship, become good friends, and even long time lovers for decades.

You are not of this ilk (smile). I see you moving off into the this lost land of Men, you are keeping the known-Man in the background, just in case you run into Wolves, perhaps like training wheels, not so much a crutch perhaps, as perhaps just an old pair of comfortable wheels that you know you could do without, but refuse to let go of.

We all have a Taste in a the opposite sex that can make the heart run, and I am not that flavor of the right Man for your (smile), my hunch is your Man Taste is something less “visceral” or “direct”, less sexual (though I am sure you ramp up just fine under the correct driver) (smile), I think your Man-Taste is cultured, erudite, relatively handsome (but you do demand perfect looks), successful to a degree, and within the same cultural-social-economic “class” as yourself, and those who you know.

I am none of those things (smile).

As a woman you maintain and radiate a level of classy-ness that I believe you look for within the Men that approach you as well. You are not a hungry wolfette seeking a feeding partner in the dim and loud places of the forest, instead you are a lovely Bird that is looking for Male with the right plumage and whose dance is just right to bring you closer.

Take care my Tracette, and I look forward to the next time we meet.

Sincerely, Joseph

I have come to learn over the last year how little we are taught as children and young adults about how to love and, just as important, how to move away from intense love. We are often left to enter the world of intimate relationships with an understanding only of the physical aspects of that magnificent space. We have “sex ed” (excuse me – Health) in school, how about starting Relationship Ed? God knows we could use some well considered instruction!

I like your approach, stay in touch, even close, regardless of the fact that some if not all the intimacy has disappeared. However, I can’t say that I have been a practitioner myself of the stay friends approach. I am forging a “stay friends” relationship with the mother of my son, the woman with whom I spent 23, often happy years of my life. It is a work in progress. Other than this, it is fair to say that all the relationships I had prior to my marriage ended without any meaningful ongoing contact. I will not bore you with my “reasons” for this, suffice it to say they now seem ill conceived and trivial reasons at best.

I have recently come to learn what what beauty and joy can be missed by not staying touch. By casting aside those finest relationships of our lives. No, if I had life to do over, I would approach this much differently and suspect my life would be much richer as a result.

I guess this is a long winded way of saying, keep your approach alive. Six months is a long time to expect the threads of a wounded relationship to stay intact. And for what?